For ruining another gorgeous summer day.
No matter how many “good days” I have, it does not make up
For this roller coaster.
For being still in this same situation.
A year later, muddling. Not really changing.
Having vivid dreams. My beautiful sweet husband, cheating.
I feel like I don’t deserve him.
I drink this poison and plunge
Into a pool of paranoia and self doubt.
I need to stop.