What was your “get sober” plan?

So here I sit going into my second alcohol free weekend of May, the month I’m convinced I will finally drink less than ever and feel great about it.

But I don’t have a PLAN. I have tried lots of Plans. No drinking for a month, no drinking for 100 days, drinking only once per week. Everyone one of them has failed.

What does success look like for me? Right now I think success will be when I no longer feel guilty about drinking, and am no longer thinking about the topic so much. Which I hope will involve saying NO a lot to times when I used to drink, but occasionally saying yes and it’s not a big deal.

I can’t imagine never drinking again. <— I have read that written in so many books and blogs by people who now never drink.

So I ask, what was your sober PLAN? Did you try many times before something stuck? Did you go in with the goal of never drinking again, or just taking a break?



p.s. yes I dyed my hair bright pink after shaving half of it off. A physical manifestation of the inner changes I’m trying to make? Haha, or I’ve just always had a thing for the punk look and it’s my last chance before I need to look professional in the fall.

19 thoughts on “What was your “get sober” plan?

  1. I love the pink.
    My plan was to take a year off.
    Before that I had a million plans. Diet plans, drinking more water, changing drinks.
    Read the AA big book. Listen to the bubble hour.we all tried moderation. It is scary how Universal this desperate hold onto alcohol is.

    In the end, a year seemed like a real challenge, with no leniency.people laughed and didn’t think I would do it.most of them turned out to be drinks themselves and are no longer my friends.

    It did not take long into the year to realize this was hard AND necessary. I often considered not doing it or quitting, but I refused to give in and very quickly I realized I might have been a very high functioning drinker, but I was a poorly functioning person, mother, employee.

    Unfortunately, this is an all or nothing decision to choose you over addiction.because it is addiction.

    As an aside, I desperately tried to be ok with drinking. I really thought if I could, shift my perspective and let go of the self hatred and disappointment I would be ok. It doesn’t work. I was slowly killing myself and my heart wanted better for me.

    Yours does too.

    Hugs and love

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Well, you know what my plan is. I’m still doing it, and I think about how there’s no way I can stop forever a lot. But I’m not going to deviate from the plan, and we will see how I feel when I get there. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you leave the guilt behind. And I think your new hair is fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the new haircut and color (early 80’s punk fan myself) and I love this post! I completely understand the urge to not declare “forever” while (for me) kind of knowing that that is the place I hope to get to. I have come to realize that the fact that drinking/not drinking takes up so much space in my head that abstinence is the only way to gain freedom. I love Anne’s response and New Leaf’s philosophy. Not quite there yet myself, but working towards that. You are doing the work that will lead you to where you need to be – moderation or sobriety. I think the awareness and experimentation you have been doing is valuable. The fact that you feel great is great, I would just suggest being open to the idea that not drinking makes you feel even better. I’m not an AA person, but “just for today” and “one day at a time” really helps me avoid feeling overwhelmed. Congrats on your sober weekend – I’m with you being sober today!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I had numerous attempts along the way, and learned much each time before I allowed myself to get pulled back under. After 40 years of drinking I knew there was no such word as moderation when it came to drinking for me. It just came to a head where I realized I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired and the medicine was just keeping me in that state. Before I died I wanted to completely give myself a chance at loving myself again and being happy. I remember the internal struggles quite clearly as my soul started speaking louder and louder and I started listening and moving away from the nonsense. Lean on your soul for guidance and be kind to yourself always. You can be the Butterfly- it’s within each of us just waiting to be given a chance to launch😊 🦋


      1. Thanks for the extra link Dwight. I’m sorry about your divorce. I don’t think I have talked about it much on my blog, but my husband left me suddenly when our second baby was 4 mos. old. It was terrible and I shudder to think how much I drank / was hung over in those days :-/ I was also a stay at home mom so the $ was a real concern.


  5. “One day at a time” (ODAAT) is what truly worked for me best, ironically, any time I’ve been sober for any long length of time. That’s how I got to 18 months. Then I made the conscious decision to try moderation again… and ended up back at the place where I realized that it didn’t work for me. Here I am, 3 months of continuous sobriety, achieved by one-day-at-a-time philosophy… or sometimes, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, when one day seemed too long for me. Which hasn’t happened often at all, since I made up my mind again, but certainly did very recently.

    Super cute and fun hair btw. :))


    1. Thank you <3. You'll deal with the food the same as alcohol – keep trying, keep learning, keep writing. You have done so amazing you're the one I always compare myself to because of our similar life situations and when we started … here I am dragging my feet not ready to give up the poison 100% yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hello dear! I love the one day at a time thinking. As you know I need short, quick goals to keep me going. This works great for me. I am a tad different as I am not completely sober. However, I am not ruling that out as a possibility for my future. I moderate and never feel guilty when I do drink. That was my first step because I hated that guilt and self hating all due to not having my alcohol under control. It controlled me. I’m making my times in between drinking further and further apart. I still struggle with the thought of never having a drink again so for right now I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and who knows, maybe one day my brain will just click! I definitely love the feeling of loving myself again!


  7. My plan was to do dry-February, but very much on a ‘one day at a time’ basis. Also, I haven’t made a decision to never drink again because that’s too big – too colossal to contemplate at the moment. After February, I set my sights on 100 days, still focusing on one day at a time. And that’s how I continue to treat it. I know ‘one weekend’ a month wouldn’t work for me, I wouldn’t even know how to do that, and the endless brain chatter around it would drive me demented. Plus, I would never stick to just one weekend, nor would I even stick to only the weekends. I commend anyone who can do that.
    Well done on getting through your second weekend, that’s a huge achievement!

    Liked by 1 person

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