April Alcohol Update

Earlier this week I had my mid-April post already written in my head, about how I was doing so well, had only drank 2 times so far this month exactly according to plan, how I was very moderate about it, how I abstained many times when I normally would have drank (there has always been alcohol in the house and a couple Saturdays hubs has cracked beers and I was solid in my decision to have none!)

BUT. I drank twice more since then and now feel like trash. Last night at my mom’s I had made a firm decision to have none, even declined the wine they were drinking, then saw an open bottle of gin in the fridge and topped off my seltzer with it on an impulse. This scares me.

I have learned by my own experience what you all have been telling me for ages – if you crack the door open even a little for the Booze Bitch, she will blow it wide open like I’M HERE AND I’M READY TO PARTY!!!!!

So now I’m just gonna try to abstain for the rest of April :-/

11 thoughts on “April Alcohol Update

  1. Oh that would have been me too! It’s that first drink that is the catalyst to more for me! Like said above it’s awesome you are mindful of it! That voice is hard to resist! I haven’t drank in awhile and the voice told me this weekend was a fine time since it’s my last weekend off from work. This morning I told my self nope, not tonight. Just not even stopping. If it’s in the house I am still not sure I could resist it. I plan on waking up early tomorrow morning and doing my workout and then doing a bunch of grocery/errands run. You are doing awesome as you are making forward strides! 💪🏻😃

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  2. It was that sort of compulsive behaviour that made me realize I was not in control of my drinking. I found it very difficult to accept. I was also always disappointed in myself for not being able to hold myself to the promises I had made me. It was kind of scary.

    I decided to take a year off a along the way. I had spent many months (years) doing what you are doing. Planning, detailing, drinking. It became very tiresome.

    The year off change my perspective. I was not abstaining or denying myself, I had decided to give myself the gift of an alcohol free year.

    I’m not sure why that changed my views, but it did.

    From there, my eyes were opened and I realized alcohol was only making my life more dull and difficult. I have never had a reason worth drinking since then.

    Hugs. That freedom is there for you too. You deserve stillness and peace and joy. Keep posting.

    Anne

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    1. Thank you, thank you so much. My thinking is slowly (very slowly) shifting to that. When I don’t drink, I think of it as a gift to myself and am happy about it. But then a week later I think oh I am fine I maybe just a little to drink would be nice. But I’m proving to myself over and over (and having it documented is helpful) that “just a little” is keeping me in the same stuck spot.

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  3. I really had to just make a firm commitment to myself for a set period of time that was long enough to get through a few of those “oh, I’m feeling better now. I don’t really have a problem” times. It is still a struggle sometimes, but I know I’m going for a year this time so I won’t cave. It really is about just not leaving the possibility out there for me. Yeah, leaving that door open is a killer. 🤗

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