Alcohol Free Easter

The picture above is Easter 2020. Our first holiday not being able to celebrate with family. Still so much anxiety and unknowns about Covid. I feel like I was perpetually hung over, hubs had stocked up on a ton of booze when we thought liquor stores might close down. I surely drank on Easter.

This year it will be 75 and sunny, and we are hosting vaccinated members of both our families. And I will not drink.

This was not an easy decision. I’ve named my inner Alcohol Voice “Booze Bitch”. Booze Bitch REALLY wanted to come to the party on Sunday. We started arguing about it a week ago as soon as I decided to host it.

Booze Bitch: “But it will be so warm and sunny! Your mom and sister will be drinking wine! It’s a holiday! You relax and enjoy hosting parties WAY more with wine! You can just have a little to take the edge off! You can stop early and won’t feel gross!” (This party is basically ALL my triggers rolled into one).

Me: “No. If I start drinking that early I will not stop and eat too much and get a headache. And I have to be up early the next day and it’s my first Mom’s workout Monday evening and I want to feel great. The party is only a few hours long surely I can enjoy it without drinking.”

Also Me: “Well, maybe. I could just have a little bit.”

x100 this argument in my head had been taking up space for days. Previously I would’ve gotten so frustrated with the argument I’d just say fuck it and drink. Or I’d tell myself no until about an hour into the party and decide 5:30 was an ok time to top off my seltzer with just a liiiiiitle wine and then I’d proceed to do that a few more times and again after the kids were in bed.

This time I’m saying NO loud and clear to the Booze Bitch. I am willing to sit with any uncomfortable feelings for this short period of time. I am willing to change my life for the better, even if it’s just starting with this one day.

17 thoughts on “Alcohol Free Easter

  1. This is so amazing SVM!! I hope you realise what a huge step it is to feel this torment and stick to your guns. These battles to get less frequent abs less intense the more you win them because the booze bitch becomes quieter and less persistent. Stay with it, be determined and enjoy 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much it definitely feels like progress – much thanks to everyone before me who has described the internal battle, named the Alcohol Voice, and described how it will get quieter if you keep shutting it up!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I do remember that inner debate. It was excruciating and hard.
    Have you considered making a special non alcoholic drink and telling everyone you are booze free, and that you won’t be serving alcohol?

    Protect yourself. Enjoy your holiday. Start something new.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have tried declaring before that I’m on a booze break and have found it only makes me feel more awkward and stressed to draw attention to it. I’d rather they go ahead and drink their wine and not pay attention to what’s in my glass. I usually do make a mocktail with seltzer, juice, and apple cider vinegar though, which looks like exactly what I’d drink with vodka or gin mixed in.

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  3. That’s amazing SVM, not an easy decision to make, but you are rocking it 👏. I call the alcohol voice, the Ogre! We have had a few sunny days here recently and coupled with stress, I have practically being main-lining Heineken zeros in the evening to keep the Ogre at bay. I will have a couple of people from our bubble over on Sunday so I too will chugging on AF drinks 😉🤩 Best of luck xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Re: the warm weather, I keep telling myself drinking because it’s nice out is NOT a precedent I want to set. I would rather enjoy the sunshine sober than be hung over for the entire next day of sunshine, right?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Good luck tomorrow! You can do this! The best part of not drinking for me was the headspace freed up by no longer having this perpetual debate going on in my head! Once you’ve externalised the booze bitch it does get easier to tell her where to go! I hope you have a great day nd have that lovely surprise of enjoying yourself sober! 👏👏💞💞

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  5. I love this and love you named her “Booze Bitch.” She’s not coming to your party! 💪🏻 I’ve been loving my arguments with her have gotten less and less the further the time between drinks! I’m on a good run now and I actually thought of alcohol this weekend but told the Booze Bitch, NO. I’ve got to get up very early Sunday and my hubby and I are taking my daughter back to college which is a 10hr trip. We share driving time. Hope you have a great day!!

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