(Pictured above – St. Paddy’s – one of the only days I *don’t* regret drinking in March!)
I did not meet the goal I set at the end of Feb. I drank on 8 days in March, about 5 of which I regret. An average of poisoning my body 2x per week. Too much, too much, this is not where I want to be. I’m not happy about it, but not super upset either. I’m learning. And making progress. Not so many months ago drinking 2x per week seemed like not a lot at all, it was hard to stick to that.
Now there are many more days I look forward to being sober, far fewer days I automatically drink just because the kids are gone, or because they are home and being annoying. I am more likely to think of an excuse NOT to drink than to stop off at the liquor store.
But still, I am coasting and not putting in any real work. I wrote the following at the top of my April planner and it is already helping to shut up the Booze Bitch, (As I have settled on a name for the Drinking Voice in my head).
“Am I really willing to change my life? Am I willing to put in the work and sacrifices?”
(Thank you to Dwight Hyde for those wise questions!)
For April, my goal is to consume alcohol on no more than 4 days. If I can’t manage this, I will try total abstinence in May.
XO – K