Sober Day 8 – Practicing Patience

As I’ve said before on this blog, I wasn’t born the most patient person. In two regards: 1. Doing something I dislike for an extended period of time to get results that aren’t guaranteed. 2. Tolerating annoying children. (Or people in general I suppose – if I don’t like you, you’ll know it right away).

Friday was tough. Hubs stressed from work, kids being wild and crazy. I was looking forward to our s’mores date at a friend’s but it turns out roasting marshmallows one after another and helping kids put together the sandwiches with cold fingers while they beg for more, trying to have a conversation with the other adults and keep the younger klutz away from the fire too, just isn’t so pleasant.

On the way out to the car we obviously both wanted drinks. We know each other so well all it takes it a LOOK. Hubs said I don’t have my wallet. I said I do, and a mask. He said I will follow you off a cliff. I drove home without stopping. Of course once the kids were in bed and we were all settled I was glad we hadn’t. It really is all about getting through that certain part of the night.

Similar situation Sunday. We were so excited to decorate the tree in the evening, but the kids get so excited and crazy it’s overwhelming to me, and the mess – I said “I feel like I’m a more fun and less uptight mom if I have some beer….” but we didn’t. The night was perfectly fine but it still feels like an effort at this point.

The pictured mug is from my time studying abroad, when I was 20 and drinking gluhwein at a x-mas market in Vienna. I left it in the basement this year.

10 thoughts on “Sober Day 8 – Practicing Patience

  1. I can promise you that no matter what your brain is telling you your kids think you are a better parent sober.
    This is a tough truth, but an honest one.

    Patience comes with time. Once the booze is no longer a consideration you will relax.

    Keep going
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well done! I too have a husband that will “follow me off a cliff” and know how hard it can be when you have someone willing to give you permission to give in. Keep that feeling of going to bed sober and happy close – you’ll never regret not drinking.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s sooo hard to have that “partner in crime” who drinks just like you do. Sober people in this community have told me multiple times I need to disentangle myself from hubs and make up my mind to do this alone. How are you doing, you haven’t blogged for a long while!

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  3. It is totally about getting through that part of the evening for the first few months. My experience was that, once I got through, though, I was always glad I did. The beginning is just really hard. For me, licorice helps. 🤗

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  4. I think I have the same mug from studying abroad in Austria! 😀 I also suffer from imagining things with kids being way better than the real experience. Campfires with littles are NOT relaxing. Nor are smores. With ya there! One thing I hated most about booze was believing that by drinking it, I was a better parent. I hate that I thought I needed it to endure my kids.

    I’m only 44 days sober now but I can already see how much more patient I am sober. I had zero patience while boozing. Everything was a trigger. All that to say – encouragement and empathy are all I have to share with you! And a pat on the back for saying no to the booze voice a few days in a row. Early days are haaaaaard.

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  5. Well done you getting through those nights. Just a thought- you can make a nice AF glue wine using a non alcoholic wine and mulled wine spices. made some last year and friends thought they were drinking alcohol!

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  6. Seriously well done. It is absolutely those ‘trigger’ moments that are the most difficult but they do get less, I promise. Last year I found decorating the tree such a big trigger I actually left my boys to do it themselves. They thought it was fantastic and totally hilarious to put the really ugly decorations right at the front. I just couldn’t do it without drinking so I had to remove myself. I was upset but this year I have no issue with it at all. I will make the boys and I mint hot chocolates with marshmallows and cream and relish feeling like I can join in the tradition once more. Nothing lasts forever. Well done for resisting xxx

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