Last night (Sunday) I was about to sit down and write about our lovely sober weekend, how the Alcohol Brain, or drinking voice, seems to have definitely diminished, how I did workout videos and was productive and was feeling good despite the cold blustery weather and not going outside all day and missing my kids.
Then I got a message from a friend in our close-ish circle, who I haven’t been in touch much with due to her generally crazy life and Covid. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a mastectomy in a couple weeks. We met when we were both pregnant with our little boys. We spent so much time at the park together. I am absolutely heartbroken and terrified for her, it’s hard to process it all.
In another time, this would have been a reason to drink. That sounds so selfish and pathetic. I know it’s only Day 10, but I am more committed and grateful than ever to be doing this sober thing for awhile (100 days?) If I’d drank last night I would have woken up regretful, with a worrying tightness in my chest, felt very anxious and scatter brained. Now I am calm and can be a better support to her, have more energy to help with the meal train and brainstorm other ways to help.
Any ideas, internet friends? It feels awful that the two things we’d always do – help with child care and just BEING there with her during recovery, visiting – are not options due to Covid. Cooking, porch visits, care packages – what else?
Hope you’re all well – SVM.