I’d like to clarify that this next month or so isn’t a free for all binge before I start sobriety. I would have given up alcohol sooner, except hubs is attached to warm weather drinking, so I agreed to start at the end of the summer. Until then, I don’t want to be a drag about drinking because I’m grateful he’s doing this with me at all. (So much respect to people who do this without partner support, I don’t know that I could!)
So last night was kid free night, a weekly perk of having partial custody. Kid free nights are historically “drinking nights”. We decided to go ride bikes and sit in a park to catch up / make life plans (we have discovered pandemic life is much easier if we plan interesting things to do in advance vs. waiting until everyone is bored, whiny, and indecisive).
I was on the fence about drinking so did not suggest it, but also didn’t say no when he suggested we bring beers because that sounded good too, and it’s our norm.
Had one 8% beer and biked home (that cancels it out, right?!)
By the time we got home it was 9:45 and we were hungry so the night ended as usual – huge plate of nachos, more drinks (a large glass of bourbon and half a beer for me), watching a show, going to bed a bit too late. Fun and indulgent, but a recipe for feeling icky the next day.
Now it’s mid afternoon and I still have a headache. Fasted all morning and drank lots of water, now having a green smoothie. Don’t want to drink tonight – too many nights in a row and it compounds the hangover. We are planning to play badminton with the neighbors so maybe that will distract me.
The problem right now is that hubs will likely open a beer, and I will sort of want one, but also want to abstain. But then he will get relaxed and silly (he’s not at all a bad drunk, but even seeing his minor shift in disposition will annoy me) and stink like beer and end up snacking a whole bunch and I will want to drink so I am not annoyed and don’t ruin his fun.
Ugh. I am sooooo looking forward to our start date.