I’ve decided it would be a good exercise to document the next few weeks of my typical drinking life. To more closely examine why I like to drink, and how shit it usually makes me feel. Because I know my usual cycle is to drink, feel awful and ashamed, be healthy for two days, decide drinking sounds like fun, repeat, repeat, repeat…
So, let’s start with Thursday. Didn’t drink, didn’t want to. Had already had my fair share earlier in the week and was due for a “healthy” day. Besides we were leaving for a weekend away with the kids in the morning and I wanted to be sure to feel good.
Friday. Felt great, managed to pack and get everyone in the car and to our destination four hours later with very little impatience or anxiety. (Hangovers increases those big time, especially with the kids.)
Friday dinner time. It’s gorgeous, hot, we find the perfect uncrowded place to eat outside. I really want a beer. I deserve it. We’re on vacation. I’ve been debating in my head more than feels normal if it is a good idea to drink tonight. I order the beer and it is magic in a few sips. The kids are less annoying, everything feels happier and more relaxed. If only I could stay at this feeling forever.
After two beers with dinner we head back to our cabin to put the kids to bed. How I wish I could be one of the people who is content stopping here, but I never am. I know it’s not the best idea to drink more, but after two beers I don’t care and am glad hubs runs to the liquor store. He comes back with two six packs of strong (7%) IPAs. I drink at least two more and we stay up late playing cards, we’re having fun.
Saturday morning. Ugh. I think I feel ok at first but then feel very foggy. My head hurts a little but not too bad. (I don’t want “my hangover isn’t too bad” to become an acceptable normal in my life.) We set out for a hike, one of the highlights of the trip, I’m not sure if it’s the hangover or high heat and humidity that’s making me feel SO sluggish.
In the afternoon we drive around awhile trying to find a place to swim or rent canoes. Covid is complicating a lot on this trip. I feel slightly nauseous in the car, but better after a swim.
We go back to the same small town place for dinner, I don’t even debate drinking, I just want a little escape and relief from the long day. Saturday night is almost an exact repeat of Friday. We’re on vacation, of course we’re drinking!
Sunday morning both six packs are gone. I don’t remember having three more beers but I must have, or dumped out part of one.
I feel mostly fine. Then a little jittery. Impatient. Tired of making all the little decisions that go with a mini family road trip.
Now Sunday evening we are home and I am grateful to have some time alone to get my thoughts out. I will not drink tonight, which is easy because my body badly needs the break and it’s Sunday so not a “drinking night” anyway.